Considering Your Parents Moving In With You

Dated: 03/29/2018

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Parents Moving In With Children - "Doubling Up"

Not long ago it was rather common to find a number of generations of a family living together under a single roof, and its becoming a favorite way to live once more. According to The Des Moines Register, 2.3 million parents lived with their mature kids in 2000, in comparison to about 3.6 million in the year 2007 and 4.2 million in 2012.  Among the adverse impacts of the economic contraction is that Americans so are going to rediscover the virtues of 3 production families, writes.  Society is changing.  Individuals are living longer, and frequently with fewer assets.  To make ends meet, an escalating number of members of the family are moving in together.  Also known as “doubling up” or shared living.  Once popular after the great recession, it is now making a comeback.  

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Before parents move in with their mature kids, its crucial that you make sure there is distance for everybody.  Sometimes, kids and parents sell their current homes and unite their funds to buy a more appropriate house that fits everyones needs.  We have seen a growing number of young adults purchasing homes with wither “two on a lot” or an “mother in-laws quarters” to allow both families to live on the same property but without being on top of each other and providing some privacy for each group.  Homes that are large enough can sometimes be divided to alow for the privacy that each group is looking for.  Either by converting an attached garage into an apartment or closing of one room and adding an exterior door for privacy for the parents.

Image title advises against joint home ownership since estate and financial issues may get complicated in the future.  A U.S. News & World Report article advises that it's important to establish ground rules before parents move in with their children.  Kids and parents should tackle what issues are, and are not up for discussion in their living situation, such as dating lives, parenting styles or political perspectives.

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Additionally cover day-to day patterns, such as the division of household chores, whether meals will be taken independently or together, and how every generation will keep individual social lives.  Dr. Gloria Gutman, a professor of gerontology at Simon Fraser University within Vancouver, told she recommends that adult children and parents choose the measure of placing their rules in writing.  Working out these issues can give great results.  Joshua Coleman, psychologist and author of When Parents Hurt: Compassionate Strategies When and Your Grown Child Dont Get Along, said to U.S. News & World Report, There is a high potential for conflict, but there is a good potential for increased closeness.

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Taking good care of a parent together with a serious health issue can be a high intensity situation for all parties involved.  For Linda Ginn, who cares for her mother, a female together with dementia, the task has not been easy.  Its been a labour of love, but its stressful love, Ginn said within The Register article. It took us nearly a year to really get into a routine.  Helping a senior parent requires some very critical decision making and planning.  It is making smart decisions and planning for all those different scenarios that might come up. Occasionally, the elderly's medical needs dictate that they find a nursing home or some other form of long term care somewhere down the road.

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The increase in “doubling up” is likely not simply a response to rising housing costs and weak incomes.  Nonwhite adults are much more likely than white adults to be doubled up, mirroring their greater propensity to live in multigenerational households as is the norm for many cultures.  Nonwhite adults are a growing share of the adult population, and some of the rise in shared living arrangements is due to the ever changing demographic profile of the country.

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Pew Research On Doubling Up

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